Why your self-doubt is actually a good thing

Feb 16

You think your self-doubt is a problem. And you couldn’t be more wrong, Boo Boo.

Lemmee tell you why confidence can be totally overrated and your self-doubt is actually your BFF.

It involves puppets from the 1980’s. But trust me - It’s good

I’m a visual person. And when I think of self-doubt, I think of this one scene from the movie, Labyrinth.

(Haven’t seen it? No problem. Quick rundown: Jennifer Connelly has to get through a labyrinth. There are puppets. And also David Bowie. That’s all you really need to know.)

Here’s the scene:

Here is what we can learn about self-doubting thoughts from Hoggle:

“Sorry. Just doing my job.” Your brain is interested in one thing above all else - SURVIVAL. And because our brains are terrible at identifying danger, anything new and uncertain will feel dangerous. Sending an email that might piss someone off will feel as dangerous as getting eaten by a lion. So your brain will be all, “TURN BACK AND GO NO FURTHER.”
“They’re just false alarms.” You’ll get a lot of these messages. Your brain is a veritable pu pu platter of drama and doubt. And it doesn’t matter how confident you are, these thoughts never really go away. I’ve worked with millionaires and people who are struggling financially. They all have the same damn thoughts. It’s just that the millionaires are better at managing them.
“You get a lot of them...ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK.” You know what doesn’t feel scary? Doing things you’ve always done. Doing things you KNOW you can do. Your self-doubt is like a giant arrow, pointing to your growth.

How to deal with self-doubt

You only have so many options when it comes to these messages:

Believe them
Ignore them
Argue with them
Acknowledge them and move right along

Don’t believe everything you think

The truth is, part of you will believe these thoughts. They will feel like FACTS even though they’re just noise. Jennifer and Hoggle could’ve been like, “Oh f*ck. These statues are telling us we’re gonna die. Better turn back!”

Don’t ignore your self-doubt

What happens when you really don’t want to turn back? You know your thinking matters. So you might feel bad that you’re having these thoughts in the first place. You might tell yourself, “Don’t pay any attention to that. THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS DAMMIT.”

You might be afraid to face those thoughts because they feel like butt. You’re worried that looking at them will make them true.

But like an ignored child, those voices are going to get real mad that you’re not acknowledging them. So they’re going to start acting the fool until they get your attention.

Don’t argue with your self-doubt (aka - affirmations are trash)

Part of you will probably know these thoughts are total B.S. So you’ll be tempted to argue with them.

You’ll want to say, “Nuuh uh. I AM lovable! I AM beautiful! And gosh darn it, people like me!” But if you don’t believe these new thoughts, your brain is going to turn into a shouting match.

The self-doubt is going to laugh at your dumb affirmations and lay out all the reasons you’re ACTUALLY a big pile of suck.

Your affirmation is a new thought with no legs to stand on and it’s going to crumple under the pressure of your doubt screaming, “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH.” So of course your self-doubt is going to win - You already believe it! And voila, you feel even worse.

How to succeed, even when you don’t feel confident

Outside of hiring a psychic friend, you’re just not going to know what the future holds. But, good news! You don’t need to eliminate self-doubt to succeed (and that would be impossible anyway - unless you’re a psychopath - in which case, we probably don’t really want you to succeed that much).

Here’s what you do: You allow the self-doubt. You let your brain say the things it thinks it HAS to say.

You say, “Fine. Say what you’re going to say. But don’t expect a big reaction.”

Fear and doubt get to come along for the ride. They get to comment on the scenery. But they don’t get to play navigator (You would legit never leave home).

Your self-doubt is really not a big deal unless you let it be a big deal.

Keep doing things that scare you. You’ll be amazed what’s on the other side.

Are you ready to do the impossible?

Hi! I’m Erica

Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.

I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach and career coach. I help you accomplish in 6 months that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for years.