How to deal with self-doubt

Oct 25

You know what’s not scary?
Doing the things you’ve always done.
Doing the things you know you can do.

The familiar might be frustrating or confining or even miserable, but at least it doesn't make you want to throw up. Amirite?

It's cool.
Except that deep down, you want something different.

Why don’t I follow through on plans?

So you want to change jobs? Launch a business? Find a life partner? Leave a toxic workplace or relationship? Run a marathon? Build some wealth?

It sounds nice! You go online and find a plan! You have everything you need!

But then - hold up.
Reality sets in.
And you start having thoughts like:

I don’t think I can do it
I don’t have what it takes
It won’t work

Doubt has arrived. And it feels terrible. So you ditch the plan and keep doing what you’re doing. And you try to make yourself feel better by telling yourself:

I’m too busy/too tired/too overwhelmed
I can’t afford it
It’s not the right time

If you want to achieve something you've never achieved, you're going to have to do things you’ve never done.

And that means feeling a metric 💩-ton of self-doubt.

And doing it anyway.

Why don’t I feel confident?

You don’t feel confident because your brain is wired to be a big jerk. It has a negative bias that will always zero in on whatever makes you feel like hot trash.

For example: I’ve given trainings to huge corporations for almost 10 years. I get amazing feedback. AND I couldn’t tell you one nice thing anyone has ever said in that feedback. But I recall every piece of feedback that was even remotely critical. Like the one person who said (and this is a direct quote from memory!), “Erica is bubbly to the point of distraction.” Rude.

So OF COURSE you don’t feel confident when you’re doing something new. You’ve never done it before. You have zero evidence. And since there’s no guarantee that you can pull it off, your brain goes into protection mode.

And protection mode looks like = DON’T DO IT! YOU WILL BE TERRIBLE! AND THERE IS A SOLID CHANCE YOU’RE GOING TO BE EATEN BY LIONS.

But self-doubt is an indication you’re on the right track.

How to be more confident

Fear of failure is self-doubt leaving the body.

Every time you take action and feel scared, you find out just how resilient you are.
How capable you are.
How limitless the possibilities are.

And pretty soon self-confidence drowns out the self-doubt.

Fear of failure is the best fear.
The kind that makes self-doubt get really loud.
So then it has to shut up.
And make room for your success.

Deep down, you want something different. But you haven't allowed yourself to have it.
Because you've let fear be a problem.

Fear doesn't have to stop you when you know how to manage it.

Taking action through fear is a skill. You have to:

*Find clarity- Know exactly why you're doing what you're doing
*Build awareness- No more numbing out feelings with food and Netflix
*Manage fear and stress- Learn how to comfort your nervous system
*Take strategic action- Work smarter, not harder

Are you ready to be the person who does scary things?

It's time.

Are you ready to change your story?

Hi! I’m Erica

Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.

I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach and career coach. I help you accomplish in 6 months that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for years.