How to Deal with Self-Doubt (and actually get what you want)

Oct 25

You know what’s not scary?
Doing the same things you’ve always done.

The familiar might be frustrating or even miserable, but at least it doesn’t make you want to throw up.
Amirite?

But deep down, you want something different. You want to finally go after that dream job, start your business, or make a big life change… yet something keeps stopping you.

That “something”?
It’s self-doubt.

Why you keep getting stuck (even when you have a plan)

You’ve read the books. You’ve got the checklist. You’re ready this time.

But then your brain starts whispering:

“I don’t think I can do it.”
“I don’t have what it takes.”
“It probably won’t work.”

And just like that, self-doubt shows up, uninvited and extremely loud.

So you rationalize:

“I’m too busy.”
“It’s not the right time.”
“I’ll start when things calm down.”

But here’s the truth: if you want to achieve something you’ve never achieved, you’ll have to do things you’ve never done.

And that means learning to take action while feeling a metric 💩-ton of self-doubt.

Why self-doubt feels so loud

Your brain is wired to be a big ole jerk.

It’s not trying to sabotage you; it’s trying to keep you safe.
It has what’s called a negative bias. So it notices threats faster than wins.

Here’s proof: I’ve led trainings for Fortune 500 companies for almost a decade. I’ve received amazing feedback… and yet, I couldn’t quote you one nice thing anyone said.

But I can tell you exactly what one person wrote:

“Erica was bubbly to the point of distraction.”

Rude.

That’s how our brains work. We obsess over one piece of criticism and forget the hundred compliments.

So of course you don’t feel confident when you’re doing something new. You have no evidence yet.

And when there’s no guarantee you’ll succeed, your brain screams:

“DANGER! DON’T DO IT! YOU’LL FAIL AND POSSIBLY BE EATEN BY LIONS!”

It’s dramatic, but it means you’re stretching beyond your comfort zone.

Why self-doubt means you’re on the right track

Self-doubt isn’t a sign you’re failing. It’s a sign you’re growing.

Every time you take action through fear, you prove to yourself that you’re capable, resilient, and stronger than your brain’s drama.

That’s how confidence is built — not by waiting to feel ready, but by acting before you do.

Fear of failure is just self-doubt leaving the body.

The more you do the thing, the quieter the fear gets.

4 steps to build confidence and stop letting fear win

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with.
It’s a skill you build - one scary step at a time.

Here’s how:

1. Find Clarity

Know why you’re doing what you’re doing. If your vision isn’t clear, every obstacle will feel like a stop sign.

2. Build Awareness

Notice when you’re numbing out with Netflix or busywork. Self-awareness turns “I don’t know why I do this” into “Ohhh, there I go again.”

3. Manage Fear and Stress

Learn how to calm your nervous system instead of fighting it. (This is the real work most high achievers skip — and it’s why they burn out.)

4. Take Strategic Action

Don’t just do more. Do what actually moves you forward. Work smarter, not harder.

Ready to be the person who does scary things?

Self-doubt doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means you’re on the edge of something big.

Fear doesn’t have to stop you when you know how to manage it. and you don’t have to figure that out alone.

If you’re ready to stop letting fear run the show and finally go after what you want, book a free consult and let’s make it happen.

Are you ready to change your story?

Hi! I’m Erica

Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.

I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach and career coach. I help you accomplish in 6 months that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for years.