5 sneaky ways you’re sabotaging your success

Sep 12

Feel like you’re constantly fighting with yourself?

You WANT to go after that thing but you can’t seem to take action.

You WANT to achieve a goal but as soon as you get close to it, you go back to your old ways.

You WANT to achieve your goal but it’s SO HARD!

Here are 5 sneaky ways you’re sabotaging your success that I’ve learned from studying my own brain (I’ve done every single one of the things on this list!) and the brains of my clients:

1- You try to do too many things at once

You think you have high expectations but your expectations are IMPOSSIBLE.

[Fun fact: Your brain overestimates how much you can accomplish in a short period of time and it underestimates how much you can accomplish in a long period of time.]

You know what’s really hard to do? Grow when you’re exhausted, stressed af, and overwhelmed. True story.

Sabotage looks like this:

You say “yes” to everyone. You have zero boundaries. You constantly feel overwhelmed and burnt out.

You look at your endless to-do list and feel exhausted.

You think about all the things you AREN’T doing and you feel like a failure and then you don’t trust yourself and then you don’t set goals.

You set a goal (or two! or ten!) and try to go after them all at once - perfectly, burn out, and quit.

This is sabotage.

2- You make things complicated

You can’t just choose a goal and then choose a plan and then implement it and evaluate the results.

Nooooooo.

Instead, you spend a lot of time feeling really confused.

You treat your goals like you’re trying to crack the freaking Da Vinci Code.

You try to account for every single factor. You worry about every scenario. You add a bazillion variables that don’t need to belong. You research endlessly and crowdsource every human on the planet. You try to problem solve all the variables - AT ONE TIME.

No wonder you’re dazed and confused.

Stop overthinking and overcomplicating things.

Keep things simple. Let it be easy.

3- You think it’s not working if it feels “hard” (but also you think it has to be “hard” to be worthwhile

Hard work is an American value. But hardship does not make something valuable.

Humans are weird.

We’re simultaneously addicted to making things harder than they need to be so that we can prove our worth (see items #1 and #2 above) AND we have brains that are wired to be lazy and want things to be as easy as possible. Conundrum.

Listen, I get it. I don’t like to do things I’m not good at. It feels kind of shitty to suck at something.

But guess what? If you’re trying to achieve a new level of success, you’re going to have to do something new.

And doing something new FEELS HARD.

Failing FEELS HARD.

Hell, new levels of success FEEL HARD TOO!

You know what? It’s going to feel hard sometimes. That’s reality.

But I promise it’s not the universe’s way of saying, “This isn’t for you Sucky Suckface. You should just give up.”

If it never feels hard in any way, you’re playing small.

4 - You only focus on what’s NOT working

There will always be parts of your life that are working and parts that aren’t.

But you know what happens when you spend all your time paying attention to what’s not working?

You believe, “Nothing is working.” :(

You spend so much time and energy trying to problem solve that you neglect everything that IS working.

So the parts that are working shrink up and the problems grow. And you feel super stuck and wonder why you’re not making progress.

Here’s what you can do instead - Ask yourself, “What’s working?” “How can I do MORE of that?”

Not only will this help take care of some of the problems, it builds your belief in your goal and in yourself.

5 - You choose comfort over growth

Don’t get me wrong. Comfort is awesome. I love me some comfort (which is why I also don’t love camping and they should probably take away my Colorado card).

But comfort has a time and place.

And if you’re trying to achieve something NEW, that’s going to require growth.

And growth requires DISCOMFORT.

I see more people get stuck in unhappy situations because they choose comfort over growth. They stay in dysfunctional relationships or boring jobs way longer than they wish they should.

If you want to stay comfortable in a situation you don’t love, own it. Make the best of it.

But if you’re done trying to settle for mediocre and trying to gaslight yourself into being “grateful,” then commit to change. And get ready to be all kinds of uncomfy.

If you know your blocks, you can move them. And say, “Byeeee Sabotage!”

You weren’t made for a mediocre life. You were born to do big things.

Ready to get out of your own way once and for all? Get started here.

Are you ready to do the impossible?

Hi! I’m Erica

Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.

I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach and career coach. I help you accomplish in 6 months that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for years.