What I did when a client fired me

May 2

Written By Erica Hanlon

My face flooded with heat. My heart was racing. And I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

There I sat, on a zoom call with a client, getting fired.

I’m not going to lie. It sucked. My ego was injured.

I’ve been in business for 4 years now and this was the first (and only) time a client had fired me.

But about 10 minutes after the call had ended, I sat there. I was okay. My business was okay.

And instead of the usual flood of shame and embarrassment, I actually felt…proud.

Because I was really proud of how I handled it.

And then my Facebook Messenger pinged.

It was her. THANKING ME.

I used that call as an opportunity to love and serve her. So even though she fired me, I walked away from that relationship knowing that I helped her.

I later told a client it was a Masterclass in Getting Fired.

So, grab your pens and papers.

Because I’m going to tell you exactly what I said and did when I heard the words - “I don’t want to work with you anymore.”

I calmed the frack down

The call started normally. “Hi. How was your week?” when BLAMMO! The words came out of her mouth.

“I don’t want to work with you anymore.”

And my nervous system went into overdrive.

That primitive system was like, “Yo. You’re getting attacked here. Let’s fight or flight this mother.” And I was immediately flooded with all the stress hormones.

Racing heart? Check.

Red face? Checkity check.

Heaviness on my chest? CHECK.

I felt it happen. And just as quickly, I checked myself. This was not the time to work through my feelings. And I didn’t need to pretend to be all, “Whatevs. No big deal.”

Because the fact was - My feelings were not important in that moment.

What mattered were HER FEELINGS. HER NEEDS. HER DESIRES.

My role as her coach (for the next 45 minutes, at least) was to be there FOR HER.

So I shifted my focus off of myself and onto helping her. And I quickly felt calm and centered.

I asked “why”?

In order to serve you, I need to know what’s going on with you.

Because I’ll coach you very differently when you’re experiencing the discomfort of growth than I will if something is not right for you.

I needed to know - Was she firing me because we were going through the discomfort of growth? Was there something she needed from me that I wasn’t providing? Was this something we could work through?

All she could say was, “It’s just not a fit.”

Now, you might be thinking that she wasn’t being forthcoming. She was protecting my feelings. Or she was feeding me some vague BS because she didn’t want to get into it.

But the truth is that FIT is a real thing. It’s chemistry. It’s intangible.

Or she could’ve been feeding me some bullshit.

It didn’t matter.

What DID matter was that we weren’t going to be able to work through it. The decision was made.

I DID NOT coach on her decision to fire me

My client wasn’t having a “mindset” issue.

She was not having a coaching problem.

This was a CUSTOMER SERVICE PROBLEM.

Coaching her on her decision would’ve been shitty for a few reasons:

It would’ve been coming from a place of “You don’t know what’s best for you. But I do!” (yuck)
It would’ve been straight-up gaslighting. “I know you think I’m not the right coach for you, but you’re wrong.” (ewwwwwww)
It would’ve been me trying to convince her to stay (clingy much?)

If you ever try to fire a coach or bring up your concerns with their container and they don’t listen to you, then you need to tell that coach to kick rocks. Just sayin.

I DID coach her on her next steps

When she hired me, she thought we were a good fit. We weren’t.

And she still wanted coaching - Just not from me.

It was my job to help her use this experience so she wouldn’t end up in this position again. So I coached her on how she would know her next coach WAS a good fit before hiring them.

I asked:

What qualities did she need to look for?
What kind of support did she need?
What questions did she need to ask?
How could I support her moving forward?
What could she do between now and the next coach to make sure she continued to grow?

I took responsibility

It’s easy to blame your clients. It’s easy to say things like “They didn’t do the work. They were always late. They didn’t come to calls prepared. They refused to coach on the things that are holding them back. They didn’t follow through.”

But even if that’s true, at the end of the day - Why aren’t you coaching your clients on how they’re showing up in your coaching program?

After the call was over, I took some time to evaluate my role (not just on that one call, but from the very beginning).

I thought about how I showed up on her consult call.

I thought about how I showed up on coaching calls.

I thought about the things I overlooked and avoided.

I DIDN’T TAKE A DUMP ON MYSELF. But I took responsibility for my coaching. And I explored why I hadn’t coached her as strongly as my other clients.

The result? I decided she SHOULD have fired me. And I became a better coach.

I continued to support her

I’m of the very strong opinion that clients matter more than money.

Hiring a coach can be a breakthrough moment for a client. But so can firing a coach.

It can be an opportunity for a client to say, “I know what’s right for me. I trust myself. And I’m going to speak up.”

That client and I stayed Facebook friends.

I liked her posts when I saw them.

We had a few DM conversations.

I celebrated when she told me she’d found an amazing new coach.

And when I saw her at an in-person event, I gave her a big hug.

You get to decide who you want to be when a client fires you

Getting fired can feel like a rejection.

But that doesn’t mean it is one.

It might just be an opportunity to show up in a way that makes you feel really proud.

It might be an opportunity to learn and grow.

And it might be an opportunity to open space for clients who are a PERFECT FIT.

You’ve got this, Erica

And if you want to see how my clients are changing careers, finding fulfillment, making 6-figures in their businesses, and enjoying their personal lives while they do it - I've got you.

Click here to explore working with me.

Are you ready to do the impossible?

Hi! I’m Erica

Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.

I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach and career coach. I help you accomplish in 6 months that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for years.