How to survive a job you hate

I used to cry in the bathroom at work.

I’d tell everyone I had to use the restroom and then I’d go sit on the closed toilet seat and cry my eyes out.

Then I’d clean my face, paste a smile on my face, and go back to work.

I get it. You hate your job. You hate your coworkers. You fantasize about running away and joining the circus. But maybe the circus isn’t hiring right now. Maybe you can’t quit because you don’t have a backup plan. Maybe you’re worried that a new job will be even worse.

Here’s a post I wrote about how to know if you’re in the wrong job. But whether you decide to stay or go, here are some tips to help you get out of bed Monday morning.

You hate your job. Now what?

So you hate your job. You hate how Susan chews too loudly on the other side of the cubicle wall. You hate how you’re always having to redo Bob’s work. You hate that while Janet is your superior and makes twice your salary, you actually know more than she does. And you hate how every time you have to meet with your supervisor, he makes you feel like ass.

You could probably catalog your grievances. And it can be fun to think about how shitty everyone is at work.

But it’s time to own your thoughts and feelings about what’s going on. Susan’s chewing isn’t maliciously directed at you.

Because once you take responsibility for your part in things, then it’s so much easier to figure out whether or not there’s a chance to change things at work or if you are legit in a bad environment (here are 5 signs that you’re in a toxic workplace) or if some of the problem is…well…you.

Sometimes it’s you

Say what?

Remember in Office Space when Jennifer Aniston’s boss wants her to wear all the flair? She’s not into it. Her supervisor is. And that other guy, the super perky one, is really into it too. It’s all the same job. It’s the same required pieces of flair. They all had their own thoughts about it.

Your job is just your job. Your coworkers are just your coworkers. And yous supervisor is just your supervisor. They’re all just circumstances in your life.

The way you feel about your job straight up comes from your thoughts.

That’s why when you first met Susan you thought, “She’s so nice!” When you started the job you maybe thought, “They have free sugar packets in the break room! This is going to be great!” [Then again, maybe you hated everyone and everything from go]

And here’s the biggest clue: If you find yourself in the same situation in every job - overworked, burnt out, resentful, and frustrated - it’s probably not the job. It’s you.

(FYI - If this sounds like you, this might be the real issue for you).

What do you think about your job?

I used to work in a job where I thought I did too much work. I thought I was carrying my team and they didn’t pull their weight. So I resented them and secretly thought shitty thoughts about them.

Then I changed jobs.

After a few months in the new job I realized I thought I was doing more than my fair share of the work. My teammates weren’t pulling their weight. I felt like I had to do my job AND their jobs.

And then KA-BLAMMO! Awareness lightning strike!

I was perpetuating the same story in all my jobs.

Maybe it wasn’t a fact that I did “too much.” Maybe it was me. Maybe I was creating that reality and my frustration with my thinking and my actions.

In which case, changing jobs was never going to solve the problem. Because (cringe) - the problem was my thinking.

This is actually good news for you!

You’re probably going to resist this. That’s cool. I get it. After all, susan’s chewing is objectively REALLY loud.

But this is actually good news.

Because while you can’t change Susan or Janet or Bob. You can change your feelings by changing your thoughts. But it starts with awareness.

Take a moment and list your thoughts about your job. Ask yourself:

• What do I think about my career path?

• What do I think about my coworkers?

• What do I think about my supervisor?

• What do I think about this job?

Write it all down. Then ask yourself:

• Are these thoughts true?

• How do these thoughts make me feel?

• Who would I be without these thoughts?

Choosing to hate your job a little less

So if you think that your feelings about your job come from your thoughts, you can start to choose new ones.

And no, I’m not going to tell you to think loving, happy, ra-ra thoughts about your work. That’s not how this works.

You have to choose thoughts YOU CAN BELIEVE. And yes, I’M GOING TO YELL THIS PART FOR EMPHASIS. THIS IS LOVING YELLING.

If you don’t believe the thoughts, then they’re worthless.

Choose something that’s slightly less negative or more neutral than what you currently think. For example:

• Instead of “I can’t believe Bob screwed up his TPS reports AGAIN,” you can think, “Bob must hate these TPS reports as much as I do.”

• Instead of thinking, “Janet is a mornon,” you can think, “Janet is doing the best she can.”

• Instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t have to work this much,” you can think, “I can say ‘no’ if I’m overwhelmed.”

Choosing your next steps and find what you love

Listen, I don’t believe in “dream jobs.” I don’t think that’s a thing.

All jobs have pros and cons. (Just like how even the dreamiest significant others sometimes leave their socks around the house or leave the toilet seat up so you fall in in the middle of the night).

But there’s nothing wrong with wanting something different from what you currently have. As long as, and especially if, you realize that your job is not responsible for your happiness.

Take this time to figure out what matters to you. Ask yourself:

• What are my non-negotiables in the next job?

• How do I want to add value?

• What am I passionate about?

• What kind of activities make me lose track of time?

Run toward something, not away from what you have

Let’s be honest, there’s nothing worse than quitting a job you hate to only land in another job that’s even worse. And I’ve definitely known people who’ve been in that situation.

It’s important to envision your future so you don’t fall into this trap.

Because if you’re just running away from something you don’t like, then you’re losing out on the opportunity to design a better future.

Use your current experiences to help inform what you do next.

That way you can find the job that fills your cup. So you can be as happy as Brian with his 37 pieces of flair.

I know what it’s like to be successful on the outside but frustrated and lost on the inside. I want to reassure you - You CAN completely transform your life and career.

But it isn’t as easy as doing some career assessments, causing the job listings, or asking your friends for advice

The #1 reason you might not have the life and career you truly want is because you don’t have the core strategies in place.

Here’s how to do that:

1. Get clear on what you really want

2. Create a simple plan that’s easy to follow

3. Make decisions and implement them quickly and powerfully

4. Build momentum for healthy habits and stop wasting time on things that suck your energy

5. Learn how to manage self-doubt and fear so they don’t hold you back

We go through each step together when I’m your coach.

If this sounds unfamiliar, don’t worry! I know it seems like a process, but when you take it one step at a time (with me by your side), it’s totally doable.

Each week, we’ll tackle a piece of the puzzle together -- so that, by the end of our 4 months together, you’ll have everything you need to create a life and career you love.

Can you imagine how GOOD it will feel when you wake up each day, filled with purpose?

When you go to bed every night, feeling accomplished?

When you know that you are the person who sets a goal and hits it every time (not because they’re easy, but because you are unstoppable)?

This is what happens when you stop spending all your energy trying to get through the week in a job you hate and you find your true calling.

It’s time. Click the button below and let’s talk about the life that’s waiting for you.

You may also want to read…

Hi! I’m Erica

Licensed psychotherapist. Corporate dropout. Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. ADHDer. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. Swear words enthusiast.

I know exactly what it’s like to have a life that looks successful on the outside but feel chronically exhausted, frustrated, and completely lost on the inside.

I help underachieving high-achievers create lives and careers they love, without burning out.

What people are saying…

---

Follow me on Instagram