4 habits of people with low self-confidence

Mar 16

You know what’s really hard?

Achieving new things when you feel like butt about yourself and believe these kinds of butt thoughts about yourself:

I’m a failure
I suck
I always f*ck it up
I can’t do it
I never follow through

Some of the things you do on the daily are either making your self-confidence worse, or keeping you feeling like general butt about yourself.

Here are just a few (cause this here’s a blog post, not a book):

Low self-confidence habit 1: You worry what other people think

Don’t get it twisted. We ALL do this. And if you say you don’t, I’ll think you’re lying.

Left on its default setting, my brain is like - “They’re all going to laugh at you!!! We must do everything in our power to make sure that doesn’t happen.” (which is also why I wore the most boring jeans and plain t-shirts for 30 years)

You know how you live your life when you make decisions based on NOT rocking the boat, offending anyone, or saying the “wrong” thing?

You don’t.

Instead, you do what everyone else does. You blend in. You play small and safe.

And then you wonder why your life feels ordinary and mediocre.

COACHING: Other people will always have thoughts. And you are not responsible for them. The REAL, IMPERFECT, MESSY you will call in your best people. And anyone who doesn’t like the REAL you isn’t your person.

Low self-confidence habit 2: You say “yes” to too many things

Do you look at your to-do list and it’s full of shit you don't want to do? What’s up with that?

I’ll tell you what’s up with that.

You keep saying yes to shit you don’t want to do! (I’m not talking about boring things that we have to do because that’s what adulting requires. I’m talking about that time you volunteered for the PTA Auction because you didn’t want Susan to think you weren’t a team player. Also, please reference habit #1).

One of two things happens here:

You either take on so much that you can’t keep up and then you inevitably drop the ball and then you talk like butt to yourself, which hurts your self confidence, orrrrr
You have a life full of demands you hate so you procrastinate and then you talk like butt to yourself for procrastinating

COACHING: Before you say “yes” to something, ask yourself WHY you’re taking it on. And then ask yourself, “Do I like my reasons for saying ‘yes’?"

Low self-confidence habit 3: You’re always trying to prove yourself

Proving yourself tastes bad because it’s a cover for “Not enough.”

And “not enough” is trashy fuel.

Because everything you do comes from this place of feeling inadequate and behind and pressured.

Here’s the thing about most high-achievers: Somewhere along the line we started equating achievement with self-worth (I’m saying “we” because hi, it’s me.)

But you know what happens when you try to earn something that you ALREADY HAVE? You never get it.

And you always feel like you’re behind.

It’s like looking for your sunglasses when they’re on your head. You can’t find them until you take a look in the mirror and recognize what you already have.

COACHING: You have nothing to prove. So instead of pursuing goals to try to earn worthiness or enoughness. You get to explore greatness. And that’s way more fun.

Low self-confidence habit 4: Compare and despair

Comparison is totally normal. Comparing ourselves to others helps us make sense of the world and how we fit into it.

BUT (you knew there was a but coming!) it’s real easy for comparison to flip into competition.

Suddenly, one person is ahead and one is behind. One is winning and the other is losing.

And now you feel terrible.

Now you’re judging - You’re judging yourself for being behind. You’re judging others for being successful. And then you’re judging yourself for being a judgy jerkwad.

And your self-confidence takes a hit.

COACHING: Use the judgment as an invitation to get curious and compassionate. The comparison might be pointing you towards something you desire. And that’s information you can use.

So you want to be confident

Confidence isn’t just a feeling.

It’s a skill. You can learn it.

But first you have to let go of these old, shitty habits that keep you feeling like trash.

You were born to play big.

So let’s go.

You’ve got this, Erica

And if you want to see how my clients are changing careers, finding fulfillment, making 6-figures in their businesses, and enjoying their personal lives while they do it - I've got you.

Click here to explore working with me.

Are you ready to do the impossible?

Hi! I’m Erica

Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. Dog mom. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. GIF enthusiast.

I’m a licensed mental health therapist and life coach and career coach. I help you accomplish in 6 months that thing you’ve been thinking about doing for years.