How to make good decisions when you don’t know what to do

I used to hate making decisions.

I’d hem. I’d haw. I’d endlessly research and pro-cons list things. And I’d put things off for so long that opportunities would expire and I’d conveniently be relieved of having to choose. 

Sometimes I would think about decisions for days, weeks, even years…

Want to make progress quickly?

Ever look at people who are doing epic things and feel “behind”? I get it.

I’d see people who were less talented, smart, and hardworking as me - ahead of me, accomplishing things I wanted to do. 

And I’d think, “What’s wrong with me? I’m doing something wrong.”

Here’s what I was doing wrong: Not making decisions and implementing them.

While I was Googling, “thinking about it,” and asking every friend and Magic 8-Ball what to do, they were out there getting shit done.

Your progress will only ever be as fast as your ability to make decisions and execute them.

Why is decision making so hard?

You know decisions are important. You know things don’t have to be such a big deal. So what’s up? Why is it so hard to make a decision?

• You’re wired to hate change and decisions = change. Humans are wired to love the same old, same old. We like habits and routines and predictability. So even if we know, deep down, we need to make a change - it feels easier to stay right where we are. Which is why you feel stuck. 

• You’re rude to yourself when things don’t go well.  Here’s the dealio - You probably don’t hate making decisions. You hate the IDEA of making the WRONG DECISION. You hate the FEELING of REGRET that comes with the “damn, I wish I’d chosen that other thing instead.”

  Basically - You hate how you talk to yourself when you make a decision and things don’t turn out so hot. 

• You lack confidence. So you put off the decision until you feel 100% confident that it’ll all work out beautifully and you’ll get to ride off into the sunset. 

  This is not a decision making issue. This is a CONFIDENCE issue. And there’s no amount of googling and “thinking about it” that will solve for it. 

  Because confidence doesn’t usually come until you’ve decided, taken action on the decision and then maybe failed and learned and tweaked things a few times. 

  The decision comes first. Confidence comes last.

  So, I say this with love - Waiting to feel confident before you decide is like waiting to get pregnant until you know you’ll be a good mom. That’s just not how it works. 

So how the heck do you make good decisions?

Let’s get into HOW to actually make decisions.

1. Stop trying to predict the future. I get it - You want to choose the option that will have the best outcome. But your future-telling skills are not so hot so you have zero clues about which one will lead to a bright, beautiful future and which one will lead you to the land of regret and despair. 

   So you feel confused and choose…nothing.

2. Stop labeling decisions as “good,” “bad,” “right,” or “wrong.” Nobody tries to make bad decisions. We’re all doing the best we can, making decisions with the information we have (see also: guessing). 

   The result of that decision gives us more information, which means our next decision (ahem - guess) will be better than the last. 

   So at the end of the day, the decision you make will be neither right or wrong. It will be the decision that was best for you in that moment, based on the information you had. 

3. Stop thinking so much and listen to your gut. Sometimes the best decisions don’t make any logical sense. A friend once told me, “We have multiple sources of wisdom and the brain is usually the dumbest one.” 

   The logical brain will look to the past and crunch all the numbers to see if something “makes sense” or is “worth it.” That bad boy wants you to stay safe in your comfort zone.

   Your intuition is an internal driving force that is guided by what you truly want. It’s a “Hey, Do this”  nudge. 

   If you want to create a life and career you REALLY want, listen to your intuition. Be guided by your heart. Because comfort almost never gets you to your dreams. 

4. Like your reasons for making a decision. If there’s a step in decision making most of us make, it’s this one. Forget the pros and cons list. And do this instead:

   List out your reasons for choosing each option. And then ask yourself, “Which reasons do I like more?”

   You don’t know how things will turn out. But you know that whatever happens, you’ll like the reasons you made your decision. 

5. Ask yourself good questions to make good decisions. A lot of us look outside of ourselves for answers. We google. We crowdsource. We google some more. 

   Listen, lack of information is rarely the culprit here. If anything, TOO MUCH information and too many options may be your biggest problems. 

   It sounds hokey, but you usually have the answers inside of you. But asking yourself quality questions can bring up some amazing wisdom. Here are some questions I love from Debbie Ford’s book “The Right Questions”:

   1. Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short term gratification ? (Because then I don't have to experience the discomfort of change)

   2. Does this choice empower me or disempower me?

   3. Is this an act of self-love or sabotage?

   4. Will this propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?

The key to making good decisions

My genius friend, Shannon Ward, says, “I may not always make the right decision but I always make the decision right.” And I think that about sums it up. 

The key to making good decisions is to stop trying to make the “right” decisions and choose the right decision for you.

• Know what you want and make decisions that propel you toward that desire.

• Trust yourself.

• Have your own back, no matter the outcome (but especially if things go sideways)

• If it works out the way you want - amazing. Celebrate yourself

• If it doesn’t - learn from it, grow, and celebrate yourself for being brave and doing the damn thing.

You won’t have time for regret. 

You’ll be too busy doing epic shit and lapping everyone who’s still “thinking about it.” 

P.S. If you have a hard time making decisions, it's possible to change (I know because I've done it)

You can start making decisions fueled by passion, not fear.
You can take action from desire, not anxiety.

Just imagine what you could do if fear and doubt weren't problems.

This is the work you've been waiting for.
And I'm here to walk with you every step of the way until you get exactly what you want. 

It's time, Click here to learn how to work with me.

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Hi! I’m Erica

Licensed psychotherapist. Corporate dropout. Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. ADHDer. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. Swear words enthusiast.

I know exactly what it’s like to have a life that looks successful on the outside but feel chronically exhausted, frustrated, and completely lost on the inside.

I help underachieving high-achievers create lives and careers they love, without burning out.

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