Feel like a fraud? Why imposter syndrome means you’re doing something right

May 8

A funny thing happens when you kick ass at a whole new level of ass kickering amazingness.

It feels like a fluke. And you can end up feeling like a fraud.

It’s like you accomplished this spectacular thing through luck or accidental trickery and any moment you might make the mistake that corrects the universe and has everyone ripping off your fraudster mask Scooby Doo Reveal-Style.

So yeah - you did the thing (or did you?)
You were successful (or were you?)
And it feels like butt (this one we’re sure about)

But imposter syndrome is actually an indication that you’re doing something right. Stay with me here and I’ll explain.

What is imposter syndrome?

A few years ago I had my first five-figure month in my business. It was exactly what I’d been dreaming of and working so hard for. It was the most money I had ever made in my entire life in one single month. WUT

So did I celebrate and feel amazing? Nope.

Did I panic, completely meltdown, and self-sabotage for the next month or so because I didn’t think I could do it again? Yessiree.

Thankfully, I had just hired my own coach and she helped me move through it way faster than I would have on my own. So pretty soon, five-figure months felt totes normal.

Imposter syndrome is where you have real, legit success. But inside you feel like a fraudy huckster who can’t maintain it.

Do I have imposter syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome isn’t an actual mental health disorder the way Depression and PTSD are. So it’s not like we can crack open the good ole DSM-5 to diagnose you.

But generally speaking, you’re probably experiencing imposter syndrome if you:

Can see your accomplishments but have a hard time feeling accomplished
Feel like you don’t deserve the success you’ve achieved, even when there’s lots of evidence that you’re kicking butt
Attribute your success to outside things (luck, other people being nice, timing, quotas, Mercury in retrograde)
Think other people are confused and perceive you as being more skilled and awesome than you actually are
Worry that any moment someone is going to pull a Scooby-Doo Reveal on you, exposing you as a big fat fraud

Which means that no matter how much people tell you that you’re the Cat’s Pajamas, you always feel anxious and panicky about not doing enough or being good enough.

What causes imposter syndrome?

Like all things having to do with our wild human brains - it’s complicated. But here’s how I think about it:

There’s your identity - How you see yourself. Your skills, your expertise, your limitations, your worthiness, your place in this big ole world.
There are your achievements - The trophies and ribbons and certifications and things you do.

When your identity and achievements line up, things make sense. All is right in the world. You feel nice and safe and you can get on with your business.

When your identity outpaces your achievements, you feel frustrated and resentful and stuck.

When your achievements outpace your identity, then you feel like a phony fraudster with some good old fashioned imposter syndrome.

When your identity is dependent on your achievements, then you’ll feel like an imposter when you have setbacks or you don’t knock it out of the park.

So imposter syndrome isn’t caused by an accomplishment you oopsied your way into.

It’s caused by a lagging identity bogged down with limiting beliefs you have about yourself. And those might be extra shittay if you:

Are part of a marginalized group with fewer role models achieving this kind of success
Are the first person in your family to achieve this level of success
Grew up in a family that was super focused on achievement
Grew up in a family that was overprotective and didn’t empower you to make decisions
Grew up in a family with lots of conflict and criticism
Are predisposed to anxiety, depression, or perfectionism

Why imposter syndrome is a good thing

You know who DOESN’T get imposter syndrome? People who are playing it small in their nice, cushy comfort zones.

I had a client who was well overdue for an executive role. But she felt impostery and wanted to know EVERYTHING about how to do the job before applying.

“Listen,” I told her, “If you want a job where you already know everything. You should stay exactly where you are.” (which was a position where she felt bored and frustrated and stuck)

The only people who get imposter syndrome are the ones who are pushing themselves to grow, learn, and explore their potential. Moving into something new will ALWAYS come with a learning curve.

Another client was applying for a C-Suite position in a brand new industry. He’d held the same position in another organization for years, and been in that industry for decades. He’d learned everything there was to learn where he was.

“I’m freaking out. This will be a huge learning curve,” he told me. “Yeah. And that’s exactly why you wanted to do it,” I reminded him.

You are designed for growth. But growth demands a degree of inexperience.
It demands a lack of knowledge.

The moment you know all the things is the moment you stop growing.

So if you have some level of imposter syndrome, you’re on the right track. Keep going.

How to overcome imposter syndrome

When it comes to resetting the balance of your identity and your achievements, you have two options:

Self-sabotage and run screaming back to your comfort zone where you can stay fully confident in your abilities to do all the things
Get your identity up to speed to match your existing accomplishments and pave the way for new super fun and exciting achievements

Listen, I hate most self-help books. But Dan Sullivan’s The Gap and The Gain is actually decent. And since I see things in pictures, I’m gonna summarize it for you in a beautiful work of art (you’re welcome):

People with imposter syndrome look at their gain, shrug their shoulders, and go, “Meh. Not good enough.” They tend to be totally focused on the gap.

But the problem is that THE IDEAL is like a horizon. The closer you get to it, the further away it moves. So you’re constantly stuck feeling like a phony who isn’t good enough. Lame.

If you want to overcome imposter syndrome, you don’t have to cover your eyes and “lalalalala” yourself into pretending the gap doesn’t exist. And you don't have to “fake it til you make it.” Instead:

When you think about how far you have to go, make sure to spend equal time thinking about how far you’ve already come
When thinking about the gain, focus on how YOU created it (not luck or the universe). Success doesn’t show up at your door one day and say, “You wanna piece of this?” That’s just not how it works
Remember that opportunities may be lucky but YOU were the one who decided to act on them. So YOU are the one who created your results
Imagine what other people (you know, the ones you think are wrong) think about you. And ask yourself, “Is it possible they’re right?” “How could they be right?”
See the gap as an opportunity to learn and grow and become even more of a badass. It’s like an adventure

Universal truths for all my imposters out there

Did you make it all the way down here? Dang. You’re good.

This is probably one of the longest freaking blog post I’ve ever written in my life, so for all you skimmers, let’s sum this thing up:

People who stay bored and stuck in their comfort zones don’t experience imposter syndrome
People only experience imposter syndrome when they’re in the growth zone and being in the growth zone is awesome
Imposter syndrome isn’t a problem of you promoting beyond your capabilities. It’s an identity issue. You just don’t see how stinkin amazing you are…yet
You can make mistakes, not know something, be the newbie, ask for help, or drop the ball every now and then and STILL be qualified and an expert

Listen. You can be as successful as you want to be AND enjoy it.

You can stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Because you didn’t work this hard to feel stuck and anxious. If you want to realize how powerful you are and take control of your life, I’m here to help you get clear on what you really want and use proven strategies to get there.

Click here to learn more about working with me and schedule a free consultation.

You’re ready for success that feels good. And you deserve it.

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Denver life and career coach Erica Hanlon

Hi! I’m Erica

Licensed psychotherapist. Corporate dropout. Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. ADHDer. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. Swear words enthusiast.

I know exactly what it’s like to have a life that looks successful on the outside but feel chronically exhausted, frustrated, and completely lost on the inside.

I help underachieving high-achievers create lives and careers they love, without burning out.

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