4 things to do before you quit your job
Summary
When I was in my first job as a therapist, I fantasized daily about being a realtor or working at Starbucks. I loved the work. I hated the job. But I didn't know how to leave without torching everything on the way out. If you're somewhere between "I think I need to quit" and "I'm drafting my resignation email on my phone at 11pm," this post is the thing I wish someone had handed me back then. Four things to work through first so you don't just trade one bad situation for another one.
Key Points
The real work happens before you turn in your notice. The resignation email itself is the easy part.
Understanding WHY you're unhappy is step one. Skip this and you'll pack the same frustrations into your next job like carry-on luggage.
"What do I actually want?" stumps most people. Worth sitting with before you scroll job boards at midnight.
An exit plan in three phases (deciding to leave, figuring out what you need, setting a timeline) keeps you out of the "now what?" spiral.
A good goodbye matters more than you think. You might work with these people again, and your reputation follows you.
When I was in my first job as a therapist, I used to fantasize about being a realtor or working at Starbucks (I hear they have great benefits and I couldn’t afford health insurance at the time).
I loved being a therapist but I didn’t love my JOB.
I was severely overworked, underpaid, and I was getting micromanaged to death (there was a dry erase board where we had to write our location at all times - Including if we went into a colleague’s office).
And there was no sign that things were ever going to change.
Which meant I had to be the one to make a change. But I didn’t know how or where to start.
So if you’re wondering, “Should I quit my job?” or you’ve already decided to leave but you don’t know HOW, then keep reading. These are the things I wish I’d known back then.
👋 Not sure if you should stay or go? Not sure what you would do next. Here’s how I finally figured out my career path, including the exercise I walk my clients through to finally get clarity!
How to quit a job
Sure, you could always go out Jerry McGuire style in a blaze of glory. But if you want to quit your job and you want to do it in a smart way, you need to take these four things into consideration first:
Why you’re leaving
What you really want - You don’t want to leave this job only to end up in the same situation (or a worse one!)
Your next steps - What will you do AFTER this job and how will you make sure it’s an upgrade from your current situation?
How to have a good goodbye - You don’t want to burn bridges
So, let’s walk through what you want to do BEFORE you quit your job.
1 - Understand why you’re unhappy
You know you hate your job. But do you know WHY?
Do you know how you ended up in this place?
Here’s why this is critical - If you treat the wrong problem, then you’re still left with a problem.
So, yeah. You could quit a job and find a new one. But if you show up in the new job with the same unhealthy patterns, you might find yourself in the same place a few months from now.
For example - I used to find myself resenting my coworkers because I was doing so much more in almost every job. And then I realized…I was creating that dynamic. Oops.
If you always overwork, overachieve, and burn out - You’re going to keep burning out in every job you have.
The problem isn’t the job. You might actually be the drama. (I mean that in the nicest possible way).
That pattern will follow you to whatever job you take next. And you’ll need to do some work before you can flourish in a job.
Before you quit your job, ask yourself:
What bothers me about my job?
How have I contributed to this problem?
Do I see any patterns in my work history of things that frustrate me?
If I could change the things I hate, what are the chances I would enjoy my job?
2 - Know what you want
I had an executive coaching client once say, “You can run from a burning building. But if you just run into the building next door because it’s there, you might find out it’s on fire too.”
You can’t create what you want until you know what that is.
It sounds simple, but “What do you really want?” is a question that stumps a lot of people. We’re so busy thinking about what we DON’T want or what bothers us that we usually skip over this important step.
And then we end up changing jobs, only to end up in ANOTHER position that doesn’t fulfill us.
So how do you even figure out what you want??? I’m a career coach that thinks career assessments are overrated but you could definitely take one if you feel completely lost (or you just like quizzes!).
I find that career exploration is much more effective when you ask yourself high-quality questions.
Before you quit your job, ask yourself:
If I knew it would work out, what would I do?
What do I like best about my current job?
What kind of job would allow me to do more of that?
What would my dream job look like?
Don’t worry about coming up with good or “logical” answers. Your answers may be incomplete. But you’ll be surprised by how much information you can generate.
Once you know what you really want, the whole exercise shifts. You stop running from, and start running toward.
3- Make an exit plan
If you know you want to quit a job (or even if you’re still up in the air), a plan gives you direction and purpose. This way you don’t waste time doing things like looking at job boards, not even knowing what exactly you’re looking for.
Here are the steps I’d consider in my exit plan:
PHASE 1 - DECIDING TO LEAVE. Determine if you can make the changes you need with your current employer. Can you change the things that bother you? Can you create what you want? Once you know this job is not for you, move on to phase two.
PHASE 2 - WHAT DO YOU NEED? If you were to leave your job tomorrow, what would you need in place? Do you need another job? Rest? A certain amount of money saved up? If you have a partner or spouse, what do they need to feel comfortable with you leaving? Figure this out and then make an action plan to get those things together.
PHASE 3 - TIMELINE. Once you know what you need and how you’re going to make sure those bases are covered, we can start looking at WHEN you’re going to leave. What would be the ideal timeline for your departure? How much notice do you want to give? What projects do you want to have complete? Having an exit date can make your remaining time much easier to manage!
4 - Plan a good goodbye
We’ve all had that coworker who quit their job and left behind a big mess for everyone to clean up after. It’s not cool.
You want to be cool. Not to mention, you don’t know if you’ll have to work with these people again.
The key to leaving behind a team that will miss you (not hate you) is to plan how you want things to go when you quit a job. Here are things to consider:
Stay positive. People will want to know WHY you’re leaving. And while it might be true, it’s not a great idea to say, “THIS PLACE IS A HELLSCAPE AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.” Instead, you can say, “I’ve learned so much in this role that I’m ready for new opportunities.” If they ask for honest feedback (and you think they can actually take it), remember to share criticism in a way that’s constructive.
Say thank you. A little appreciation can go a long way. Even if your boss wasn’t great, try to find something you appreciate about them. You don’t have to lie. A simple “Thank you for the opportunity” will suffice.
Make a transition plan. What work needs to be handed off? Do you have recommendations about who can backfill your work? Do you have suggestions about what qualities they look for in their next hire? Write it up and present it to your supervisor. They’ll appreciate it.
Finish work (or at least get it to a good place). In an ideal world, you’d finish all your work before you leave. But since you probably won't be able to finish everything, make sure things are ready to be handed off to the next person.
Communicate with your contacts. Your supervisor probably needs to be the first stop on your goodbye tour but make sure to touch base with important stakeholders about your departure. Pro tip: talk to your supervisor about how you’d like the news of your departure to be shared. Another pro tip: Make a note of contacts’ information so you can continue to network with them after you leave.
Change is never easy. And if you did your job well, people are going to be disappointed that you’re leaving. And that’s okay.
If you want to quit a job, consider these four things before you put in your resignation. The more prepared you are, the more likely it is that your next career move will be a successful one.
Now what?
Quitting a job well takes more than a gut decision and a resignation email. If you're weighing whether to leave, or already know you're leaving and want to do it right, that's the kind of work I do with clients.
We figure out whether leaving is really the answer, how to exit without burning bridges, and (once you're in that next role) how to actually hit the ground running instead of repeating the same patterns in a new place.
Read this next
How I Knew It Was Time to Quit (and My Step-by-Step Exit Plan) – The messy story of how I actually left, including the exercises I used to get clarity.
Am I burned out or in the wrong job?– If you're not sure whether to leave or just take a vacation, start here.
5 signs you're in the wrong job– The sneakier signs you're in a role that isn't built for you.
Should I stay or go? How to make the career decision that's keeping you up at night – For overthinkers who've made the pros/cons list seventeen times.
Frequently Asked Questions about quitting your job
Q: How do I know if I should quit my job?
A: Start by figuring out why you're unhappy. If the problem is specific to this job (bad manager, toxic culture, wrong role), quitting might help. If the problem is a pattern you keep repeating (burnout, overwork, perfectionism), it'll follow you. Diagnose before you decide.
Q: Should I have another job lined up before I quit?
A: Depends. If you're burnt out to the point of breakdown, leaving without a backup can make sense, assuming you have savings or a partner covering things. For most people though, lining up the next thing first (a job, freelance income, or a runway of savings) is smarter and less stressful.
Q: How do I quit without burning bridges?
A: Stay positive (even if you hate the place), say thank you, make a real transition plan for whoever takes your work, and talk to your supervisor before anyone else hears the news. You don't need to explain everything about why you're leaving. "I'm ready for new opportunities" is a complete sentence.
Q: How much notice should I give?
A: Two weeks is standard, but your situation might call for more. Senior roles, projects mid-flight, or industries where you'll run into these people again may warrant 3-4 weeks. If the environment is genuinely hostile or unsafe, two weeks (or less) is fine.
Q: What if I don't know what I want to do next?
A: Welcome to the club. Career clarity usually comes from trying things and noticing how they feel. Sitting at your desk waiting for a perfect plan to appear won't get you there. Start with "what do I like about my current job?" and work outward from there.
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Hi! I’m Erica
Licensed psychotherapist. Corporate dropout. Wife to Brendan. Mom to twins + one. ADHDer. Slow runner. Coffee drinker. Swear words enthusiast.
I know exactly what it’s like to have a life that looks successful on the outside but feel chronically exhausted, frustrated, and completely lost on the inside.
I help underachieving high-achievers create lives and careers they love, without burning out.
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